Let Go
I turn 40 tomorrow. I had a friend ask me the other night what I had learned in my 20’s and 30’s. I struggled to answer. Instead in my mind I came up with one-sentence responses.
In my 20’s….”Hold On.”
In my 30’s…”Keep Going.”
Life comes at you fast and furious in your twenties. College, graduate school, relationships. I held shame for various moments of time during that decade for decisions I made. I should have been more careful. Wiser. Kinder. Thoughtful. What was I thinking?
Looking back, I am able to hold that 20 something year old young woman in my mind and realize…I’m not sure if people in their 20’s think much, you know? Ha! What do you do? You hold on…and then you keep going.
And somewhere in all of that holding and going, beautiful, gracious things happen despite us.
We aren’t victims to our context, but we are players within it.
Now that I am turning 40 I wonder what the one-sentence lesson will be for this decade. I think I can feel it on the tip of my tongue.
“Let go.”
We aren’t victims to our context, but we are players within it.
I think somewhere in my upbringing I learned that hard work plus the right decisions turns up the right results. That is a very, very nice belief. AND, it is a very, very noble idea to which to aspire. I still like it. I just don’t think it is the whole truth. It is a very, very individualistic idea…the human being, the SELF, holds the total power in this formula. It really is all up to US. Work hard and be wise and you will be fine. I’m not so sure anymore. I stopped being sure a long time ago. And, also? Who really works perfectly and is perfectly wise anyway? Not me.
We aren’t victims to our context, but we are players within it.
And, here is this ironic, intriguing, oh so important thing, friend. When we realize that we are not as powerful, not as responsible, not as IN CHARGE as we would like to think…or as others would like to think…when we really are able to TRUST and RELAX and SURRENDER and LET GO…that is the moment, the season when we get unstuck. That is when we stop being rigid. That is when flexibility and wisdom and magic happen.
I have had several people tell me that I am going to love my 40’s. I believe it. I already do! I am full of anticipation. Who wouldn’t be when your sassy, twenty-something Puerto Rican friend starts your birthday by telling you that you are “24 Karat Magic”.
SURE, I had to look it up, but hashtag blessed, y’all.
(Now YOU are going to look it up, aren’t you? You ARE. I know it. No shame, friend. No shame. Such a fun song. Please, dance for me while you listen, ok?)
The 40s were great but the 50s – over the top. And honestly, the 60s – well, just maybe the best of the best. You are going to love every single year of your life. And I love you sharing it with us. I am a much older friend, but a true friend indeed.
Paulette, I love hearing this! I had a woman I respect who has since passed tell me when she was about 80: “NEVER dread the next age. They are all so wonderful.” I still think of that often and believe it.
The 40’s have definitely been years of “letting go”. I just turned 47, and it still is happening. I love what you wrote. For the past 8 years, I have not started the year off with new resolutions, but have carefully prayed about my ONE WORD that God would give to me that I would focus on throughout the year. One year it was TRUST. When you trust, you have to let go. Another year, SURRENDER- letting go. My word for 2017 is RELEASE – letting go. Letting go is wonderful! It really brings such peace and freedom to your life. So as we let go year by year, I wonder what the 50’s will be like?!
Happy Birthday!
Teresa, I loved reading this from you.Amazing how all of those words really do carry with them the meaning of “let go”. I am guessing the 50’s are going to be amazing for you! Like I told Paulette, above, I had a woman I respect who has since passed tell me when she was about 80:”Never dread the next age. They are all wonderful!”