My Dear Friend,
I saw what’s been happening. I’ve been watching from a distance. And I am so sorry.
I am sure there is a part of you that wants to quit. Throw in the towel.
I wrote a post a while back about the importance of saying “no” and I still believe that.
I also believe that giving yourself is WHO YOU ARE.
You give, you smile, you show up…because it is your very nature…your Spirit led, Christ loving nature.
I really don’t believe that you know any other way to be….that you don’t know how to be different…how not to give smiles, how not to notice and care.
But, I am guessing you wish you did right now. I am guessing you wish you could box up all of your efforts and leave them on the curb to be taken by the garbage men. I am guessing you wish you could “unlearn” what seems to be second nature to you.
Cause that’s about how much you feel those efforts in those boxes are worth right now.
You don’t do things like give of yourself…just to get from others.
You do it because it is who you are…and you LOVE PEOPLE.
You are sensitive. It takes God given sensitivity to be in tune with the needs of others.
Unfortunately, sensitivity, like any gift, has its dark side.
So, you feel used. Beat up.
Who really cares anyway, right?
Obviously, NO ONE.
So, you are thinking about quitting. Throwing in the towel. Saying “to heck with them” to everyone you have ever shown love.
And, I want to suggest that it is in this moment…this moment of feeling burned…burned by your love extended…burned out…in this pain of feeling forsaken by others…
…that you are the closest to experiencing the love of Christ poured out.
Henri Nowen called it being a “wounded healer”.
That is what Christ is after all…a wounded healer.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5
I am guessing you feel pierced…by the thoughtlessness of others.
Crushed…by their carelessness.
Wounded…by their lack of concern.
Haven’t you shown thought, care, and concern for them? Where is it for you? Is there ever a time for you to get it in return?
You work to the point of blood, sweat, and tears to be there.
Where is everyone for you?
Wow, Jesus sure knew these feelings. He gave and gave and gave…until He shed REAL drops of blood, sweat, and tears.
It didn’t just FEEL like he gave it all for others.
He really did.
“For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” 2 Corinthians 1:5
Welcome to the sharing part…the sharing in the sufferings part.
And, it pretty much sucks.
I know it does. And, I’m not here to try to preach away the bad feelings.
So, what DO you do with where you are…sharing in the sufferings as it says?
What do you do with hurt, pain…feeling forsaken…forgotten…overlooked?
What do you do when you get burned? Out?
I think we still go back to Jesus. He seems to give us an excellent model at the point where He was most forsaken: the cross.
1. Be silent.
“But Jesus remained silent and gave no answer” Mark 14:61
You might be tempted to talk back or speak out. At least for now, be silent. In the height of your burn out and pain, take a little bit of time to just be still and quiet. There may be comfort there…or wisdom God is extending to you.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Mark 15:34
You might feel more than just forgotten and looked over by friends, family, co-workers…you might feel forsaken by God. Either way, even Jesus cried out.
So, go ahead…cry. Get it out. While you are staying silent towards others, take time to cry out to God…and to just cry. Period.
3. Take a couple of days
Jesus was in the tomb from sometime Friday night to Sunday morning. After the peak of being forsaken…forsaken unto death…forsaken until His own Father turned His back on His son…He is away in the tomb for a couple of days.
At the peak of feeling burned…out…take a couple of days.
You say you want to quit. Alright. That might be the best thing to do.
But, take a few days to be quiet and cry before you make any decisions.
Where you are can feel like hell. Run over. Exhausted. Overlooked. Unappreciated.
You are going to be angry, sad, and overwhelmed. You are going to have a lot of questions.
“How can people be like this? I just don’t understand!”
I’m sorry to say that you never will.
But, you know that already.
You’re no novice at this.
So, while you want desperately to give up…probably like Jesus wanted desperately to have His “cup” taken from Him (Matthew 26:39)…know this. Jesus could not change Who He was.
He was and is Messiah.
Our Wounded Healer.
THE Wounded Healer.
He is and was love…and nothing would or will ever change that.
There is something powerful about partaking and shedding that same love to others as is flows through you.
We are called to be wounded healers, too.
We talk about the goodness of God’s love.
We often forget the suffering that this love WILL bring as it flows through us and out to others.
We forget that this love …that being Christ to others…will make us wounded healers, too.
There is power in the pain of this kind of love.
Look at the power of the cross.
I love you. I am so sorry that you are hurting. That you feel burned (out).
I am angry for you at the thoughtlessness of others towards you.
I wish I could tell you that it will get better or change or that if you moved to another state or another position it would be different.
Because no matter where you go as long as you are following and loving and living Jesus…
…you WILL share in His sufferings.
You WILL love and give and cry…as a wounded healer
Take a few days. Re-group. Let some things go maybe.
Then keep being WHO YOU ARE.
Thanks, Em. That was great!
Thanks, Betty. I am glad you enjoyed it! my heart was in this one for sure.
Wise, encouraging & timely words, Emily. Thank you for sharing them!
Angela, I am glad it spoke to you. Came from my heart for sure. So many of us are or have been in this place and it goes unsaid.
Emily. Thank you. Perfect timing.
Meg, I am glad you enjoyed it. His timing IS perfect. Glad it spoke to you. Came straight from my heart.
What an insightful, anointed, and unexpected blessing for today!! Thanks, Emily.
Thanks, Vicki. So glad you enjoyed it. So glad to be a blessing.
This was for me! I literally don’t know you but not 15 minutes ago I posted this to my Facebook Status: “I’ve been asking myself a lot lately “Why do I care? Especially when I get so little or nothing back for my time, emotion, efforts, etc..?” Don’t we all feel this way at some point? A friend pointed out that our rewards for trying to be more like Jesus & caring for others more than ones self probably won’t yield very fruitful rewards here on earth that we can or will see, BUT the rewards in Heaven will be worth.it.all! SO here’s to treasures in Heaven over treasures on earth, & reaping if we faint not! :)”
A friend then shared this wonderful link to your post explaining exactly how I feel! So THANK YOU for ministering to the weary souls who give & give because it’s who we are…you’re a blessing to a person you don’t even know…you giver you
Braska, it is so very nice to “meet” you on here! Thank you also for taking time to share this comment. It is an encouragement to ME. So glad it ministered to you. Came straight from my heart for sure.
I have mentioned lately how much I love your posts! Each seems touch me. This one spoke to where I’ve been lately! Thank You!
Sonya, thank you so much. Your note here is quite encouraging to me…even as you say what I write touches YOU! So glad it spoke to you today.
Love it Emily. Though everyone feels this way to some extent, and for some very often, we can often feel alone in our burnout. Nice reminder. Your posts have become one of my favorite things!
Love :). Is there a way to share posts without giving permission for this to use my twitter acct…???
Thanks, Angela! Hmmm…I know it asks to access your twitter account to share it directly from the page onto twitter. However, you can also copy and paste website link directly into whatever page you desire…twitter, facebook, etc. I hope this helps!